What Happened to a Guy’s Cat, Curtains and Granny’s Eyes? Read This Hilarious Story of a Speedlite (NSFW)

by planetMitchLeave a Comment

This was posted on a Facebook group and I couldn't resist contacting the guy and getting permission to post… this is LMAO funny (and NOT safe for work due to language) 

The guy who posted's name is Steve. I asked if he'd sold the flash yet…

If you know anyone local to Boston, send 'em my way, tell them to say that planetMitch sent them and I'll give them a good deal.

I asked if he wanted me to publish a link to his Facebook or something and he politely declined… but he also told me his goPro is going up on Craigslist next week.

I'm also going to list a cursed GoPro Hero Black+ next week.  I'm not sure if it's haunted or cursed, but a local clergyman is supposed to give me the down low tomorrow.  All I know is that whenever it's used, bad things happen.  Broken bones, smashed phones, crashed drones…..

A “cursed GoPro” – I can't wait to read that post! HA!

What the Hell was I Thinking? (Professional Speedlite for Canon DSLR)

Via craigslist:

OK, so let's get this out in the open, right from the start, I'm a stupid shit for buying this speedlite. An undisputed idiot.

I bought a Canon DSLR and immediately thought I was an expert and of course I needed the the best speedlite on the market. Yeah, baby! I'm gonna be the king of photography in my family!

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So I do all kinds of scientific research, you know, watch a shitload of youtube videos and finally determine that the Nissin Di866 Mark II Flash is the speedlite for me! This sucker is huge! Bounce head with all the fancy bullshit the REALLY expensive Canon speedlites have, and it only cost me $350! What a deal! Check this out, it's even got a color display on the back that displays all the options and shit! There are like a million settings on that display, I swear there's probably a Netflix app on this flash somewhere.

This speedlite has a Guide Number of 198, I shit you not, One Hundred and freakin Ninety Eight! I thought this meant it was bright. What I didn't realize is that 198 means it's like 500 times brighter than the sun.

Within an hour or so, my cat's whiskers were burnt off, the curtains were smoldering, and granny had developed cataracts from this damned speedlite!

Professional Speedlite for Canon DSLR

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Within an hour or so, my cat's whiskers were burnt off - read this hilarious Craigslist post Click To Tweet

What I did notice, however, was that every single photo was so brightly and evenly lit. There was nary a shadow to be seen. Where had I seen this before? It looked so familiar…….and it came to me….PORN!

The only sensible use for this speedlight is porn. This light rays this speedlight produce will work their way into every nook and cranny of the human body and light them perfectly. Nothing will be left to the imagination! Imagine the possibilities! If you are a pornographer (or aspiring pornographer) you NEED this flash!

Try this link to see all the features of the flash. Seriously, I don't know what any of it means. I thought I did, but obviously I was mistaken.

So I paid $350 for this sucker. It's in perfect like new condition, box, case, all that shit. I used it that one time until shit started catching fire from the little nuclear flashes, and put it away before I burned the house down.

Make me an offer. But don't be a douchebag about it, ok? I'm already feel shitty enough about granny's eyes, and I'm going to have to pay for her cataract surgery, so keep that in mind before you decide to gimme lowball offers like a hundred bucks or something. I know you pornographers make better money than that!

And listen, I consider myself a pretty progressive guy, you can use this flash to film straight or gay porn, or even the in-between kind. I don't care! I'm not gonna judge you!

(This ad adheres to all of CL's Terms of Use. If you feel the need to flag it again, it's because you are a douchebag that doesn't appreciate a little humor. )

Source at craigslist “What the Hell was I Thinking? (Professional Speedlite for Canon DSLR)”… note, normally we'd send you over to Craigslist for the article, but who knows how long it might be there and we got permission to post it.

(cover photo credit: snap from craigslist)


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